Thursday, September 16, 2010

in reference to my post on caffeine




so a long time ago i posted about me giving up soda for lent. i just re-read the post, and i said that i hoped giving it up for lent would help me cut back on soda when lent was over.....
well here is the update on that.
i havent really cut back. i guess maybe a little i have, but i still have at least one soda a day, well maybe two. that is so not okay.
i havent been drinking as much water as i should be either....i keep not buying a new nalgene so i dont have one to fill up...and i am starting to use that as an excuse not to drink water......
so i will keep you posted on how this is going....my soda problem and whether or not i am drinking enough water.....


thoughts, aspirations, dreams, words. whatever you want to call them.

i have been thinking. about a lot of things. not just one thing, everything seems to go through my mind all at once. it isnt always a bad thing, but it's not always a good thing. sometimes it gets overwhelming and i feel as if i dont have time to think about the things that i need to think about, the things that at the time are more important than the many thoughts in my head. it has been better lately because my thoughts have been taking a break when i am trying to sleep. it is the worst when i cant fall asleep because i cannot stop thinking about who the heck knows what. i always have songs going through my head, not just one or two....it's more of a medley of like five or six songs....peices of the songs...most of the time i dont know the full song. on top of that i am thinking about school, the girls on my floor, what i am going to do with my time, why i am wasting my time, what things i should be doing instead of wasting my time.....stuff like that is always in my head.....all the time. it is rather annoying when i just want to sit and think...when i just want to spend time in silence...which for me is rare...and this makes it even harder.
so many things go through my head all the time. and i am sure this is not an uncommon thing for anyone...but i feel like i cant turn my mind off. and sometimes that is all i want to do. is turn my brain off...well not my brain...just put a stop to the many, sometimes useless thoughts that are going through my head. just to be able to sit down and spend time with God. to spend time listening to him and hearing what he has to say to me. my thoughts make that hard.

all i ask is for my mind to calm down for a little while each day.
the thing is i dont know how to do that.




Saturday, September 4, 2010

a while has past since my last words

some time has past
since i posted last
not a day or two
nor month nor year
just some time,
when i didnt share
the things that were on
my mind.

so many thoughts,
ran through my mind
during the time,
the time of past.
but i didnt write any of them
down here.

its not because
i didnt want to
or because i forgot to...
the reason behind
this gap in time
since my last words
appeared here
is
unknown
to me.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

wow my posting is lacking.

today is an upset day, as i found out that my braces are going to be on my teeth longer. like it can be any longer. so i am going to pray that my death decide to wake up and move where they are supposed to go so they can come off before school starts. that's all.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Our God is An Awesome God.

Our God is An Awesome God.
He Reigns From Heaven Above.
With Wisdom Power and Love.
Our God is an Awesome God.

He Sent His Only Son to Die For Us.
The Most Amazing Expression of Love.
Why We Even Deserve Such a Gift,
From Him,
Only He Knows.
The Creator of the Universe,
The Father of the World.
He Watched His Son Suffer,
Because of His Creation's Mistakes.
Something A Father Can Hardley Bear to See,
He Saw it All,
He Knew it All...Before,
and Still He Let it Be.
How amazing is His Love.
Far More Than We Deserve.
Never Ending, Everlasting.
Eternity spent together,
With Him.
Amazing God.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

being home.

home is where the heart is.
but is it really?
i go to school in Mass, and live in NJ..
I love my family to death and when I am at school I miss them...
but when I am home..
I miss my roommate, and all my friends at school.
I miss the enviorment that is college.
I am not really sure if I know where my heart is...becasue I don't know where my home is.
I think home can be more than one place.
I feel at home in Mass as well as in NJ.
I guess then the saying "home is where the heart is" is actually correct...
but home can be more than one place.
Home is where my family is and home is where my closest friends are.

where is home for you?
where is your heart?

Monday, March 1, 2010

Conspiracy of Kindness (Kudos to Kelsey for writing this with me)

Conspiracy of Kindnes

Our job is to be seed flingers, not seed protectors watching over God’s business as though He had a limited supply.

We are students from Gordon College who just want to show God’s love in a practical way; so we did. We decided to venture to Endicott College, Gordon’s rival school down the street, and simply bring the joy and love to the students and campus. We started out with 80 bars of candy with the tag “We are students from Gordon College who just want to show God’s love in practical way” taped to the top. We also made up a good amount of post-it-notes with simple words of encouragement on them. We went with humility, love, flexibility and a complete unawareness of what God would do and how people would respond.

Upon arriving at Endicott, we prayed for God’s hand and blessing to be upon our time and for hearts to be opened and softened. We knew that with the relationship between Gordon and Endicott not being exactly friendly or positive, that a spirit of humility and love would be necessary, along with open hearts of the receivers. Our hopes were that we would be able to in some way repair the previous damage on our school’s reputation as Christians at Endicott and simply show that we care and God loves them.

While walking around campus and handing out the candy for close to an hour, we received a plethora of responses and reactions. They varied from simply being confused as to why were on their campus and giving out seemingly “free” treats, to rejecting us completely after the mention of the words “Gordon” and “Christian”, to joyfully accepting and responding with phrases such as “Wow, this is nice” and “You just made my day”. We had responses that were as extreme as asking if this was some sort of joke or if the candy contained razor blades. We also had a few people apologize for being so skeptical because they weren’t “used to people being so nice”. A major highlight from our time on campus was praying with a staff member who was Christian and quite an encouragement to us in our endeavors as she stated things like “You are advancing His kingdom and territory”.

The responses that we received were somewhat expected but somewhat not at the same time. We anticipated being rejected but felt that more people were open to the message we brought than we had planned or at least weren’t as expressive in disagreeing or denying our beliefs. However, it did seem that the majority of the people that were more accepting and appreciative of us were members of the faculty and/or staff. It was easy to get the impression though that some of the adults may have felt a little uneasy, unsure or even intimidated by the fact that we (students) were so confidently and casually approaching figures of authority with such “personal” and “private” issues as religion.

The students that we came into contact with gave off a feeling of being caught off guard and just being uncomfortable in general. We felt this was probably because being approached with religion in such a manner wasn’t a normal or regular experience for many of them. It was definitely apparent that ones beliefs were something that wasn’t expressed or talked about often on Endicott’s campus. These feelings became especially apparent to us when we asked if there was anyway that we could be praying for them throughout the week. This was definitely something that some of them had probably never been asked before. Many of the students seemed to feel vulnerable when being asked to admit their need for prayer in general. Some people didn’t know what to say and brushed us off while others responded with requests such as “tests, good health, and getting through the semester” with the notion that they didn’t even know what one would pray for. Others, however, opened up and asked for more personal and specific prayer requests and on the other extreme, replied that they were in no need of prayer because their lives were “good right now”. Regardless, we were able to write down a good amount of prayer requests and just make it known that we were lifting them up in prayer.

While handing out candy, we left post-it-notes of encouragement around the campus in places such as on doors, bathroom mirrors, bulletin boards and even cars. We felt that even a simple note could brighten someone’s day without confrontation. It was also another way for us to leave something that would last longer than our hour on campus and could reach more people.

Approximately after one hour of stepping foot on campus, we were asked to leave. We were slightly taken aback when a man, seemingly a staff member, told us that being from Gordon, we needed permission to hand out candy and be on their campus. We were not aware that permission would be needed to hand out free things, but respectively apologized and made our way back to Gordon.

In the end, we were able to hand out 67 out of 80 pieces of candy, and reach out to a great deal more. We’ve learned what a difference a simple act of kindness can make in everyone’s lives, staff member, student, Christian or unbeliever included. Even if our underlying message and reason for being on campus wasn’t openly or enthusiastically accepted, it was obvious that a warm smile and kind word went a long way and brightened many days. We definitely enjoyed loving and serving the students and faculty at Endicott and plan on continuing to share God’s love there in any way that we can, with permission of course.